Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My pussy is not your playground.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
