Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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