I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
