Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
