It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
