so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
