"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He passed out mid-signature
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
