Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
