He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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