Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
