you guys were way drunker than both of me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
