It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
