I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
