im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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