I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
