Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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