i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Are we still banned from the library?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
