He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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