Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
