Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
