i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
this boner is exhausting
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
