VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
