Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
