Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
