WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
