some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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