she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
my liver is dry heaving
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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