i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
