She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
