How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
