"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
