That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
