Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
