Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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