I just threw up on my dentist
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
