I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize