I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
a victory without nudity is not really a victory