i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think i have two assholes
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
