I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
