the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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