I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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