I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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