And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
