Plan B is the new Plan A
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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