I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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