Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
