So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
