New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My feet surprised me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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