i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
