cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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