We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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