i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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