hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
