i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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