I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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