I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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