If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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