It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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