so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
