physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
